Sunday, May 23, 2010

Procrasturbation

I once read somewhere

that procrastination is

a lot like masturbation,

it feels great until

you realize you're

screwing yourself,

if this is true,

we all move at the

speed of a wet dream

and productivity is not

what it seems,

if this is true…


I am the master

of cumming minutes

and spraying time

with defiance!


But I found out

time doesn't like that,

she prefers a man

who can handle

her with an

appreciative planner

because she's got

a schedule fetish,

an essays in two hours

don't get her in the

mood,


Time wants someone

who can work the

sands in her hourglass

along with her supple

seconds so she'll

spend years moaning

her thanks,


Speeding up the

bad times,

and slowing down

the good times,

time plays favorites

but she plays games

too,


one moment she's

faithful,

the next,

she passes you by

for someone who

ages better

and isn't a minuteman

haiku writer,

not that she favors

marathons,

because time ends up

wasted,

and as we all know,

she hates when

you try to beat

the clock


So a little advice:

don't say

"I'll do it tomorrow"

don't let tasks fester,

because when time

runs out on you,

she leaves one hell

of a Dear John letter.

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